Dwarfed expectations

I would want no God,
not the kind I would not worship
be it the laurel wreath on his head
or the thunder bolt in his magnificence,
no, not gods but men have made
the ever looming essence
of my own needs and wants
and myriad expectations.

intellect stimulates me, yes it does
but intellect alone can not feed emotion.
in this ever riding wave
of chaos and commotion,
reason fails many a times.
and then there are hints sublime,
that I give up the armor of thought
and don the frail feminine
Would he take the change swift?
and still with this divine gift,
not leave me contused
and ego not bruised?

I never gave in to worldly wise,
have seen my own predicaments
virtue and vice,
and they remain as I see
and then I ask
"would he?"

My sense is far more than sensibilities
and an abandon when it comes to being
submissive to the rest.
'that' is his penultimate test.

The ultimate is far more a twist
and has dwarfed my expectations' list
reason, love,emotion, such range
is never constant and fall to change
there would be some aspect divine
that I be his and the man be mine.